Friday, November 27, 2009

Lobo Claus!

Here at Picking the Nits, many of our happiest childhood memories, as do many of our readers', revolve around Christmas. And being as many of us are nerds of darwinian scale, most of our other memories involve comic books. Noticing this early on in the history of comics, the publishers decided to combine our memories into one happy package and make (wait for it) Christmas comics! Originally these were genuinely silly and sometimes touching comic vignettes revolving around the (mild) adventures of Santa, the elves, Rudolph (licensed by DC comics for over twenty years. Yes someone owns Rudolph, someone owns everything) and so on. All well and good, but there are only so many variations on "A Christmas Carol" and "It's a Wonderful Life" you can do. Eventually we nerds grew up (well older anyway) and started working in the comics field, and, alongside industry veterans who just didn't always meet reality anymore, started writing, *ahem* new Christmas tales. Dickens these ain't...

The Story:
Lobo, whose name stands, as any discerning geek knows, for "He who devours your entrails and thoroughly enjoys it" gets hired by the Easter Bunny to get Santa to quit hogging all the Holiday glory by Sanctioning the Claus.

Lobo is only too happy to comply and immediately sets out for Santa's place. After a couple off-color jokes regarding living with elves, Lobo whacks away at the little helpers until the big man makes his appearance. We find out that Santa has apparently fought for his life before, as he chooses the weapons, and Lobo refers to him as "Killer Kringle"

It's a little one-sided though, or fucking brutally one-sided, if you prefer

The fight is short, sweet,and graphic as Hell, and ends pretty much as you would expect a Christmas comic featuring Santa Claus to end...

Oh, except that Santa gets his goddamm head chopped off

The Unexpected Twist: Despite being published by the same company that publishes Superman, Batman, and The Adventures of Peter Porkchops, this comic gathered a significant following, to the point where a fan-made film adaptation became an early you-tube sensation.

The Lobo Paramilitary Christmas Special

The skinny on Marge Simpson

Does anyone find this sexy? I mean, in a odd kind of way I do, which is why I am wondering if anyone else does.
Playboy, where this appeared, usually doesn't do things that don't sell, so there is presumably a market for this. Lord knows, also, that the internet, having provided us with rule #34 (If it exists, there is porn of it) would back up the claim of a market for this sort of thing. I don't feel weird about liking it or anything, Imean it's a drawing for God's sake. I guess I just find it interesting that Playboy has come so far(?) as to have a cartoon as it's main feature, as opposed to filler on page 124 (after the stereo ads).

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